hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
