They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
