Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You pole danced in your parka.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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