I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
