Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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