I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
