i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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