brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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