I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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