Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize