the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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