id be glad to
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
