She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
My vagina just clenched in fear
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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