We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize