I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
