im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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