And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I will die if light touches me.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
