how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
