He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
