Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
This house was built for laser tag.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
