i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
