Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
