so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
