Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
