I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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