Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
