If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize