Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
