When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
