The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
