We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
