i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
too bad you live with your parents still
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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