we're blogging at a bar
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
