Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
