I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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