It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
