but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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