So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
