I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
