I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
