Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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