Welp...herpes.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
