Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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