Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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