Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
