He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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