so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
