have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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