Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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