Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
