franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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