K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
