Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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