This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
