Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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