I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
