Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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