clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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