come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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