How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
