If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
