you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
