Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
