why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
