I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize