thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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