We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
