just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
