super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
