I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
