I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
